The mediator will typically guide the process through four stages:

1. Mediator’s opening statement– The mediator describes the process, establishes ground rules for conduct, reviews the agreement to mediate, describes their own role and confirms everyone’s commitment to proceed.
2. Story development– Each party gives a brief summary of the facts of the dispute. The mediator then clarifies and frames the issues in terms acceptable to the parties.
3. Identifying the interests– Using questions, the mediator shifts the focus from positions to underlying interests, and ultimately formulates a goal statement incorporating all of the interests identified.
4. Generating options– The parties list and evaluate options for satisfying as many interests as possible, then the parties settle on a plan of action to settle the dispute

At some point during the mediation, the mediator may want to meet separately with the parties.

A settlement agreement must be completely voluntary.  In the case of legal matters, you can choose to review it with a lawyer before signing it.

Counselling Vs. Mediation

In some situations, a combination of counselling and mediation can be helpful. It is useful to understand the distinctions between the two methods in order to decide which approach would best bring peace to the issues you are facing. A mediator, while acknowledging a person’s feelings does not explore them in great depth. However similar to counsellors, mediators need to recognize and respect the parties’ feelings and see the situation from each other’s perspective.  A counsellor is fundamentally concerned about how people feel about a range of relevant experiences.  A mediator focuses upon participants future goals rather than a detailed analysis of past events. A counsellor wants to assist the parties to gain a better understanding of their individual behaviors. Counselling is about understanding the roots of the conflict while mediation is about making decisions and agreements that will move the parties past there unresolved issues. Many people come to mediation after counselling does not achieve a quick resolution to their conflict. Often the thought of mediation can feel more comfortable than entering family therapy in which there is little hope of changing the long-standing dynamics of the family at any great depth. Mediators want to help define new ways of relating and coexisting and support the parties in making decisions that will liberate them from their disagreements.  Mediation works to find common ground where it is easier to make changes. The end goal of mediation is that the parties create a written agreement that will have very clear boundaries for interaction and rules about respectful communication. First impressions could lead you to think that this kind of intervention is superficial. But meaningful agreements can break through years of stress and estrangement. Creating rules and guidelines about clear boundaries and respectful future communications can be profound and have long lasting positive effects for relationships.

What the Mediation Session Offers

 People in disputes who are considering using mediation as a way to resolve their differences often want to know what the process offers. Below is a list of some of the benefits of mediation, broadly considered. Mediation generally produces or promotes: 

Economical Decisions 
Mediation is generally less expensive when contrasted to the expense of litigation. 

Rapid Settlements 
In an era when it may take as long as a year to get a court date, and multiple years if a case is appealed, the mediation alternative often provides a timelier way of resolving disputes. When parties want to get on with business or their lives, mediation may be desirable as a means of producing rapid results. 

Mutually Satisfactory Outcomes 
Parties are generally more satisfied with solutions that have been mutually agreed upon, as opposed to solutions that are imposed by a third party decision-maker. 

High Rate of Compliance 
Parties who have reached their own agreement in mediation are also generally more likely to follow through and comply with its terms than those whose resolution has been imposed by a Judge. 

Comprehensive and Customized Agreements 
Mediated settlements are able to address both legal and extra-legal issues. Mediated agreements often cover procedural and psychological issues that are not necessarily susceptible to legal determination. The parties can tailor their settlement to their particular situation. 

Greater Degree of Control and Predictability of Outcome 
Parties who negotiate their own settlements have more control over the outcome of their dispute. Gains and losses are more predictable in a mediated settlement than they would be if a case is arbitrated or adjudicated. 

Personal Empowerment 
People who negotiate their own settlements often feel more powerful than those who use surrogate advocates, such as lawyers, to represent them. Mediation negotiations can provide a forum for learning about and exercising personal power or influence. 

Preservation of an Ongoing Relationship or Termination of a Relationship in a More Amicable Way 
Many disputes occur in the context of relationships that will continue over future years. A mediated settlement that addresses all parties’ interests can often preserve a working relationship in ways that would not be possible in a win/lose decision-making procedure. Mediation can also make the termination of a relationship more amicable. 

Workable and Implementable Decisions 
Parties who mediate their differences are able to attend to the fine details of implementation. Negotiated or mediated agreements can include specially tailored procedures for how the decisions will be carried out. This fact often enhances the likelihood that parties will actually comply with the terms of the settlement. 

Agreements that are Better than Simple Compromises or Win/Lose Outcomes 
Interest-based mediated negotiations can result in settlements that are more satisfactory to all parties than simple compromise decisions.  

Decisions that Hold Up Over Time 
Mediated settlements tend to hold up over time, and if a later dispute results, the parties are more likely to utilize a cooperative forum of problem-solving to resolve their differences than to pursue an adversarial approach.